Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Ahn Promises Almost Certainly Decisive Presidency

Despite calls from a leading foreign blogger in Korea, the 50 year-old actor, comedian and physician Ahn Cheol-soo pressed ahead with his non-campaign for the presidency today by inviting journalists to a secret meeting with campaign supporters.

The Korean star of The Hangover movies, in which he appears under a stage name, and one-time doctor who was so good he could even cure computer viruses, wowed audiences over the last sixth months as part of his "I'm not running for office but..." concert tour, before the common herd offered him the crown to the Republic of Korea three times just prior to the Ides of March, when he finally tentatively announced his candidacy.

After the announcement, which he later suggested he had not confirmed, before implying that he possibly had, Ahn said that Korea probably needed a sort of new kind of politics where politicians could be lay out a clear vision and be held to their words, most of the time. "I promise you – subject to terms and conditions – an almost certainly decisive presidency, maybe." he said at the end of a rousing speech to supporters of his fan club 'Na Cheol Soo' last weekend, which he denies being associated with. Na Cheol Soo also denied being associated with Ahn Cheol Soo, although they later denied this.

Ahn says his presidency is likely to focus on four broadly definitive and somewhat measurable goals - 'harmony', 'sharing' and 'a win-win for all community members through the entire community'. Polling shows that voters say they will almost definitely vote for a candidate that offers them 'a win-win for all community members through the entire community' in December's presidential elections.

Last week a coalition of political groups swept to power under the Unethical Alliance Party banner, but while not revealing his political allegiances the enigmatic Ahn has implied that he might stand as an independent candidate, attracting criticism from the UAP's Saenuri faction. "It's great being in Saenuri", said a spokesman in Seanuri, "why would he want to be independent of the UAP when his large following already indicates he can meet our high Unethical standards?"

55 year-old Professor Kim from Korea International University explained that Ahn's intention to clean-up Korean politics is typical of someone from a wealthy background who hasn't had to do any cleaning at home. "When you take a small new rag, and try to use it to clean up a dirty house, it quickly becomes dirty itself - sometimes dirtier than the thing it's trying to clean."

Indeed, the share price of AhnLab, a leading anti-virus software development company where Ahn is the majority shareholder, rose 14.9 percent to 107,900 won the day after the election, as Korean investors took the view that Ahn was lying and that the outcome of the elections - which seemed to increase the chances of Ahn becoming president - would mean the company would mysteriously benefit from him holding office.

But Ahn's non-supporters say he wants to offer something new on becoming the 18th President of the Republic of Korea, as an outsider offering a fresh start and a change from the endless corruption and broken promises which characterize Korean politics. If he succeeds in convincing voters that he can offer a 'new politics' as an outsider, he will be the first president to do this since Roh Moo-hyun – the 16th President of the Republic of Korea.

However, Roh's presidency was ultimately regarded as such a failure that many people didn't even realize it had begun, and following the start of an investigation into corruption allegations - which he sort-of denied - Roh committed suicide in 2009. Everyone subsequently had to therefore agree this probably made him innocent, and the incumbent Japanese-born President Lee Myung-bak probably guilty of something, turning voters back towards the cause of hopeless outsiders, from hopeless insiders.

But while President Roh was elected to office by the so-called '386 Generation' - Koreans born in the 60s, who won freedom as part of the democracy movement and who hated America, the new 'Core i3' generation of voters – so named because of their lack of power – have no knowledge of ancient history. "They do not yet understand that the pendulum of the presidency will swing from establishment figures to outsiders as each successor generator realize what a mistake the previous one made. This is certainly Ahn's moment to seize power." said Professor Kim.

While promising an almost certainly decisive presidency, Ahn said he still wanted to keep his options open. "I don't think I should enter politics" he told the media recently, later adding though that "Some say I'm whimsical".

In preparation for an Ahn victory, pre-production work on the The Hangover Part III has commenced with the plot centering around 49 million people who wake up in disastrous and confused circumstances in 2017 and have to trace their movements back five years to 2012. Figure-skating sensation Kim Yu-na, who is already an ice queen, is already being tipped as the outsider candidate for president in 2022 after memories of Ahn's term of office have faded.

Related Links
Dear Ahn Cheol Su 안철수: Please Do Not Run for President
Exclusive: Ahn Cheol-soo to Announce Presidential Run During Ides of March
Kim Denies Being in Anti-Virus Business
Who is Ahn Cheol-soo?
Ahn Cheol-Soo
Ahn’s fan club raises eyebrow
Will Ahn Cheol-soo stop juggernaut?
Ahn keeps presidential ambitions afloat
Breaking News: UAP Win Landslide in South Korean Elections
Roh Moo-hyun
386 Generation
Kim Yu-na Now Recognized as Social Virus
The Hangover Part II
Ken Jeong
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Narcissist vs. romanticist

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