Friday, October 7, 2011

The Demise of The Big Bang Theory

"Stop making things up" - The Creator
It is commonly accepted that once our whole universe was in a hot dense state, then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. However, in recent years an increasing number of Americans have claimed that the Universe, and Earth within it, is only 6,000 years old, which is clearly nonsense given that Dokdo has been proved to have been formed 4.2 million years ago, over 4 billion years after the Earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool and the Koreans developed tools.

This attempt to create a revisionist and entirely speculative history - leading to the naming of its proponents as 'Creationists' or 'Fantasists' - is based on a selective reading of Christian Bible mythology, by people who say they don't believe God can have sat around in the universe for fourteen billion years before finally getting around to creating man. Procrastination is one thing, but nobody is that lazy they say. Others claim – based on an apparent version number allegedly found in an ancient Norwegian fjord - that this is actually the 6,341st version of Earth but that it keeps going wrong at which point God starts again. But several years ago Korean scientists proved that the 6,000 year-old Earth argument is actually a Japanese funded plot to weaken Korea's rightful 4.2 million year-old claim to Dokdo.

Whereas the Korean claim is based on science and fact, by its nature the counter argument is entirely based on something called 'faith', a English word which means believing in something you have no proof for because it can not be proven, which neatly means it can not be disproven, and therefore - according to such-minded people - must be as true as the existence of invisible pink unicorns, accuracy on Fox News, GOP fiscal responsibility, Barack Obama's hope and change, or anything else you've ever heard about but never experienced.

At the time of the uncovering of the Japanese plot, the Korean government told people there was no cause for concern, since the people working to weaken Korea's 4.2 million year-old claim to Dokdo were - by coincidence - largely uneducated and as such, unlikely to come to this country. However, to be sure the government imposed a rule stipulating that anyone who came to here to teach had to have a college degree.

Now there is growing evidence that the country may have been infiltrated by foreign anti-science, anti-Dokdo, plotters, who say that 'The Big Bang Theory' is clearly 'weak' and ridiculous because it postulates that all the matter we see in the Universe today was once contained in one localized area smaller than an atom. "Even my sock is bigger than that," wrote one mythologist in The Korea Times earlier this year "so where did all this matter come from to make my sock, and all the other socks on the flat Earth. In fact, and everything else?"

Another writer, who thinks he works as an English teacher, also took issue with the expanding universe principle, throwing out 50 years of math, science, history unraveling the mysteries that all started with a big bang as 'unproven', by concluding that "As far as we can tell, there is no expanding universe... what we can tell is that God has made the universe", though oddly the writer offered no proof of this latter point. The writer went on to claim that Russian cars could also not have been created by a big bang, which also disproves the theory. Many owners however say their cars have certainly ended with one.

Parents have reacted with alarm at the spread of anti-science native-English teachers in Korea, condemning it as a foreign plot to corrupt the education of their children. The Ministry of Education said that it would look into the matter, but that it doesn't necessarily mean that children have been exposed to this intellectual corruption in the classroom. But as one mother, 34 year-old Kim told us "If a foreign teacher is only a sex pervert outside school, does that mean it's OK for him to teach my daughter in the classroom? So why is being an intellectual pervert OK?"

Creationists have consistently denied that they are intellectual perverts, but they have been unable to prove it.

Professor Kim, a Christian professor at Seoul International University's Science Department, has also dismissed the idea that the universe is only 6,000 years old, saying that if anti-science foreigners come to this country with the view that things they can't understand can't be true "they really aren't going to like Korea at all."

Other Korean Christians have condemned the Creationist infiltration into Korea, saying the group's statements consistently breach the Ninth Commandment to "not bear false witness against your neighbor", which is still traditionally interpreted in Korea as an instruction not to speak about things you have not witnessed and do not know for a fact. Whereas science is based on facts, faith - by its nature - is not, as God once admitted to English writer Douglas Adams when he told him that "Proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."

However, some women's groups have argued against Korea's stricter interpretation of the Ten Commandments, which omit rape unless it is against a married woman and therefore falls under the commandment which precludes "coveting your neighbor's wife". The omission of rape is believed to have formed the basis of lenient judgments in several high-profile sexual assault and incest cases in this country.

Related Links
Demise of 'Big Bang' theory
The Big Bang Theory
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor
Invisible Pink Unicorn
SKorean appeals court finds gang rape of 12-year-old to be not so serious
Box-office hit sheds new light on sex crimes against disabled students
Appeals court recognizes first ever spousal rape

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