Thursday, November 11, 2010

G-20 Special: Summit Already a “Huge Success”

The G-20 Summit in Seoul has already been hailed a huge success hours before the meeting actually began, after it enabled the Government to pass a range of laws banning protests and public dissent. The laws, which are unlikely to repealed once the meeting has ended, are believed by many to be the real reason Government ministers have embraced the summit so enthusiastically, and explain why so little attention has been paid to the actual G-20 body itself that the Government’s G-20 logo - which can be seen everywhere in Korea - actually omits the hyphen and incorrectly titles it the ‘G20’.

A spokesman for the Ministry of Public Manipulation and Insecurity said “For a long time the world’s most powerful countries have used international conferences such as the G-20 as a cover to suppress civil liberties, now we too can join this exclusive and very beneficial club.” Amnesty International have condemned the Korean move - “Compared to three years ago, the freedoms not only of assembly and expression, but in civil society as a whole have been greatly curtailed,” said an Amnesty representative.

Recent months have seen crackdowns on homeless people, the socially disadvantaged, people who 'look different', and anyone who failed to heed our Great Leader’s call for national unity ahead of the Summit by voicing opposition to the GNP’s patriotic policies. “Korea must present a modern image in front of its powerful new friends” said the Great Leader President “not look like some kind of old-fashioned 20th Century liberal democracy”. A university lecturer was detained Sunday for spray-painting the image of a large rat representing the President on several G-20 posters. Police asked prosecutors to file an arrest warrant against the lecturer for violence and revealing state secrets.

Senior members of the government are hopeful that the meeting will help accelerate Korea’s plan to return to the golden age of strong authoritarianism and social order seen in the 1960s and 70s. Indeed, Korea is hoping to use the Summit not only to taunt lesser nations who are not part of the G-20, but also to urge them to adopt Korea’s highly successful development model. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade is particularly keen to export Korea’s development model to Africa, since many African countries have repressive military governments, no rule of law and widespread police torture. “They already have most of the elements of Korea’s development model in place” explained a Ministry spokesman.

Where military governments don’t already exist, the Ministry is willing to help organize coups and even minor armed incidents with neighboring countries, but it says that the widespread use of torture should be considered optional since studies have shown this had “limited economic impact” in Korea, despite its recreational value.

The Korea Times has supported the export of Korea's development model by running a 60 article series this year on what it calls the country's "fairy-tale success story", although it regretted that planned articles covering political suppression and human rights abuses - which the newspaper characterizes as 'byproducts' of the successful military government - clashed with the World Cup and ultimately were not published.

Related Links
Arrest warrant for drawing rat on G20 promotion poster?
Lee calls for national unity ahead of G20
S.Korea receives unfavorable human rights assessment
Korea’s rise sets model for developing nations
International conference on Korea’s development model opens today
Wikipedia G-20 Seoul Summit