Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Busan Foreigner Flash Mob Plan Creates Fears, Panic

Aliens are coming for you
Authorities have expressed concerns about a plan by Busan English FM – a local counterfeit of Seoul's TBS eFM in Korea's second-class city – to create four flash mobs tomorrow featuring non-Korean looking foreigners.

Investigative journalists from The Dokdo Times have discovered the flash mobs will be targeted at strategically important sites around Busan – the Sasang Bus Terminal, the Shinsegae Department Store which generates 90% of the city's income, Busan Train Station, and in front of Pusan National University, which still claims in English to be one of ten flagship national universities in Korea despite being forced to drop the word national from its Korean title because it wasn't based in Seoul and therefore can at best really only be described as 'provincial'.

It isn't clear why the radio station – which like TBS eFM is said to be tightly controlled by Koreans who secretly harbor a deep distrust of foreigners - is organizing an event which seems guaranteed to create fear among the peace loving citizens of Busan, but some believe it is a cynical attempt to drive people to listen to the English language broadcaster to find out if an American invasion is underway.

Military sources have been keen to stress however that while the U.S. Army has invaded Busan before, there is no immediate threat of them launching a second attack while the six-party talks are still notionally ongoing. And while it has often been suspected that foreigners in Korea are little more than advanced scouts probing for weaknesses in Korea's cultural defenses, Busan actually plays reluctant host to very few foreigners during the winter, with most of them only flooding in during the summer to stare at nearly naked Korean girls on Haeundae Beach and commit other sex crimes.

The general lack of resident aliens in Busan may be the reason why Busan e-FM is only asking for four foreigners per flash-mob, a number which police in Busan still regard as "dangerously high", like many of the foreigners who come to Korea to take drugs and spread AIDS. It has also been suggested that the radio station is attempting to set the record for the world's smallest flash mob, although this is currently held by a tiny group of Japanese citizens who once attempted to protest Korea's rightful ownership of the Dokdo Islands.

Two years ago evidence emerged of a massive conspiracy among foreigners in Korea, but a lack of spies with good English skills has hampered efforts by the National Intelligence Service to discover its purpose. However, it is known the foreigners frequently refer to themselves as ex-patriots, indicating that despite coming here willingly and uninvited, they may no longer be loyal to Korea.

Related Links
Flash mob participants needed
Busan e-FM
Foreigner Meetings Point to Massive Conspiracy
Lawyers’ group makes gains for social minorities
Big crowds rush to mass blind date
Pusan National University
Six-party talks
The Shocking Reality About Relationships With Foreigners
Foreigners Who Have AIDS Should Get Tested Urges KFAP

Disclaimer: Please note the links above are generated automatically by our software and may not always be directly related to the news article.