Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Ancient Korean food comes to life in Japan after 13 centuries

Everybody knows about the stuff
The importance of following proper storage procedures for Korean food was highlighted today after an ancient Korean dish from 13 centuries ago suddenly came back to life and tried to eat nearby diners.

After the ancient Korean food came back to life, the Japanese hosts sighed and said "oh no, not again!". There has been speculation that if we knew why the Japanese had thought 'oh no, not again!" as the ancient Korean food lunged towards them, we would know a good deal more about the dubious nature of the Japanese than we do now. What is known, is that Japanese often sigh between Korean dishes.

It is believed the ancient delicacies were originally presented to Japan in the hope of forging a lasting harmony between the two neighboring countries. The Japanese failure to eat the dish is therefore the cause of 1,300 years of trouble caused by the Japanese against Korea. The existence of the ancient Korean food proves that Japan's rude and uncivilized behavior dates back further than previously thought.

The ancient Korean food which escaped today was originally taken to Japan - which was then called East Korea - as part of the migration of Yakwang, the prince of Goguryeo Dynasty (37 B.C. to 668 A.D.) and his followers.

The descendants of Yakwang, who now call themselves Japanese, have been told that while they should not approach the any ancient Korean food which comes back to life - especially after 13 centuries - it should be relatively harmless as it is only likely to attack non-Koreans.

The ancient Korean food, which is being called "The Stuff", was last seen heading towards Tokyo. Scientists believe it is a living, parasitic, and possibly sentient organism that gradually takes over the brain, mutating those who eat it into bizarre zombie-like creatures, before consuming them from the inside and leaving them empty shells of their former selves, a medical condition Korean doctors refer to as "Hagwon".

Japanese Self-Defense Forces are expected to attempt to engage the Korean food within the next few hours in order to prevent it reaching open water and turning it into a guk.

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Ancient Korean food comes to life in Japan after 13 centuries
The Stuff

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