Thursday, January 10, 2013

"Dokdo Oath" Proposed for Foreign English Teachers with AIDS

The Government have announced that foreigners who come to teach English in Korea despite not really being wanted here will soon be required to verify that they are not suffering from An Ignorance of Dokdo Syndrome, or AIDS as it is known. The condition - which is known to afflict many foreigners – renders a person unable to explain why Dokdo is Korean territory and why it is so important. Koreans do not get AIDS.

Under the Dokdo Oath, foreigners will solemnly promise not to teach lies in the classroom, such as those invented by Japan and funded by Tokyo in the history and geography departments of some foreign universities as part of its ridiculous claims to the Korean islands in the East Sea. Previously, foreign teachers have been criticized for – perhaps unwittingly given their general lack of wits – trying to indoctrinate Korean students with perverted versions of history and geography at odds with that proved as factually correct by the government-backed Northeast Asian History Foundation.

It is hoped that by ensuring they are AIDS-free, foreign teachers will no longer expose students to the kind of factual harassment that if left untreated could spread like a dangerous forest fire through Korean society. Some native English teachers for example have been said to have openly flouted socials laws by telling students to consider there are two sides to every debate even though clearly there can only be one side when one side is clearly right and the other is clearly wrong, or lying.

The Dokdo Oath will be conducted in addition to various medical checks, including those for HIV, which have previously been welcomed by most of the HIV test positive foreigners living and working in the private-cram school or 'hagwon' sector in Korea.

However, there are signs that the problem may have spread beyond Korea's ill-regulated hagwon industry and reached more formal educational institutional levels. In raids of several international schools earlier this week authorities were shocked to discover materials proving that incredibly these so-called educational establishments were teaching foreign curricula such as the anti-Korea International Baccalaureate which failed to highlight Korea's historical importance or its sovereignty over Dokdo, Daemado, Ieodo and large parts of what is now known as China. It is not clear how long this blatant affront to Korean sovereignty has been taking place.

One child's essay even suggested that the reason for the historical animosity between between Korea and Japan over its colonial period was that Japan had simply "gotten there first". Linguistic experts are now working to translate the rest of the essay, which was only written in English with no Korean translation. Under questioning, some students at the international schools have admitted that they were even regularly taught in English even though the schools are in Korea, making a mockery of government plans to promote the Korean language to foreigners, which the schools would otherwise seem ideally placed to do.

Some foreigners have bravely spoken out about the rampant indoctrination of predominantly foreign children in international schools, but they have been unfairly dismissed as donuts-obsessed fringe characters who don't know what they are talking about.

The government is hoping to move forward with its plans for foreigners to take Dokdo Oaths later this year. There had been fears of delays as the Oath – which for obvious reasons can only be made in Korean – would not be understood by the vast majority of those taking it. However, on Monday the Supreme Court informally ruled that there was a considerable body of legal precedent holding foreigners to Korean-only contracts they did not comprehend and the Dokdo Oath would be treated no differently if such a case was ever brought before it.

Related Links
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Is Korean History Being Lost?
Why does Daemado (aka Tsushima) belong to South Corea?
Anti-English Spectrum Rejects Foreign Members
Is Your English Instructor Really English?
Foreigners Who Have AIDS Should Get Tested Urges KFAP
Koreans Advised to Masturbate to Prevent AIDS
The Shocking Reality About Relationships With Foreigners
Two Koreas Demand Be Officially Recognized

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