Thursday, July 26, 2012

North Korea Threatens to Destroy Glasgow in a 'Sea of Fire'

North Korea has reacted angrily to a British attempt to imply the North Korean women's football team had defected en masse, and had arrived in the Scottish tourist resort of Glasgow to play Columbia in an Olympic match on behalf of South Korea.

Images of the players were shown on screen at the soccer stadium next to South Korean flags, prompting frantic calls from Pyongyang via invisible phones which all North Korean coaches carry with them. Former leader Kim Jong-il, a keen fan of football, was said to have given regular tactical advice to players during matches using the phones. On seeing the South Korean flag, the players refused to return to the pitch and the game was delayed for up to an hour while they made their Last Will and Testaments.

After discovering that the team had not defected, and that it was a Scottish-South-Korean propaganda trick, North Korean state television threatened to destroy Glasgow in a 'sea of fire' following the match. Local residents were said to be divided on the plan.

North Korea analysts say the threat should be taken seriously. The unpredictable regime has previously threatened to destroy Seoul in a sea of fire, a promise it may finally have delivered on as Seoul struggles under a sweltering heatwave for a sixth day with no end in sight. The National Intelligence Service has said it has no evidence that the record-breaking temperatures are part of an attack, and fearing an escalation of tensions the government has tried to blame them on weather conditions, but The Hankyoreh newspaper says the heatwave is a direct result of "climate change brought about by President Lee Myung-bak's failed Four Rivers project."

North Korea beat Columbia 2-0, although sources in Pyongyang say the women will still be executed anyway when they return.

Related Links
London 2012: North Koreans walk off after flag row
North Korea threatens to destroy Glasgow in ‘sea of fire’
North Korea threatens 'a sea of fire' upon South Korea
Kim Jong-il 'Instructs Footballers by Invisible Phone'
Sweltering Heat to Continue
KMA forecasts end of monsoon season last week

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