Early this morning it was announced that the South Korean Marine Corps had formed a new mobile unit assigned to counterattack North Korea in the event of Pyongyang initiating hostilities against the South. However, it was announced that military leaders had named the unit "Spartan 3000", as it consisted of 3,000 troops, thus revealing to the North Korean military how many South Korean soldiers to expect in any counterattack against Northern targets.
"We usually didn't tell the enemy the size of our planned attacks", said 67-year-old former General Kim, who later asked us to to quote him anonymously after this article had gone to press.
The military also announced that the troops will be based in the southeastern coastal city of Pohang, it will take them up to a day to counterattack, and their mission will be to destroy important North Korean military facilities.
"In the past, it would have taken 48 hours to counterattack" said a military official, "but now we've reduced this to 24 hours". A spokesman for the North Korean military thanked his Southern counterpart, saying they would update their defense plans with this new information.
In a press conference later this morning, the South Korean military spokesman said that the naming of the unit after a famous male "ultra sexual enhancement product which will not cause any headache!" was entirely coincidental, and nobody in the South Korean senior military ranks had ever heard of Spartan 3000 before independently coming up with the name.
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