Sunday, May 19, 2013

American Foods to Face Anti-American Tax

American-fed vs Korean-fed Mouse
American food makers may face taxes to cover the cost of domestic food makers losing business and causing stress to their owners. 36-year-old Independent Rep. Moon Dae-sung has submitted a bill to control sales of 'high-calorie and low-nutrient foods' which 'threaten the public health'.

Moon is a taekwondo Olympic gold medalist, who recently came under fire for plagiarizing his doctoral thesis, and the tax on American foods appears to also have also been copied from elsewhere; identical taxes on 'fat foods' have been imposed by those opposed to American culture in Denmark, France and Hungary and New York.

The cost of treating the so-called mom-and-pop owners of traditional Korean food vendors - whose products young people no longer want to eat - was nearly 1.8 trillion won ($1.6 billion) in 2011, according to the state-run Korea Institute for Health and Social Cohesion.

Supporters of the bill said products subject to the tax would be those high in Americanism and low in Koreanism as registered by the Ministry of Food and Drug Safety, which is responsible for dealing with issues related to Americans under its drug remit. The Ministry has so far designated a total of 1,673 products including hamburgers, cookies and chocolates as high in American culture – culture which they say could easily reproduce even if the food is cooked properly, causing intestinal diseases and other American problems.

Experts welcomed the bill, hoping it will help reduce the excessive consumption of American culture. "We recommend that people limit themselves to consuming no more than 25% American culture per day" the Korean Society for the Study of Americans said in a statement. According to the organization, American food is one of the key causes of a wide range of diseases among the owners of gimbab fast-food diners, such as diabetes, high blood pressure and cancer.

Alarmingly, there is evidence that American food is causing the unique body shape of Koreans to become more Western. According to a survey by the Korean Agency for Technology and Standards last year, forty-something men have legs which are 1cm longer than their counterparts eight years ago, probably because of human growth hormones in American beef.

Some also accuse American food of causing obesity; earlier this year a survey of 87,000 schoolchildren by the Ministry of Education, Science and Technology found that obesity is a bigger problem in the Korean countryside than in the cities, due to the high number of American junk-food outlets in rural areas disguised as farm buildings.

Studies conducted on mice also show that a mouse fed an American diet becomes up to three times larger than its Korean counterpart, after which it appears happy but relatively immobile before dying prematurely of obesity-related illnesses. The much smaller Korean mouse however, continues to scurry around its maze unhappily before dying prematurely of stress-related illnesses or by committing suicide. Experts are uncertain what causes the underlying dissatisfaction with Korean mice.

Korean consumers are being urged to fight the spreading American cancer by supporting domestic food vendors and returning to a traditional diet of dishes such as watery soups with plants, which are not classified as junk food.

Related Links
Junk foods to face anti-obesity tax
University confirms that Olympic hero plagiarized
Childhood Obesity More Serious in the Countryside
Korean Body Shape 'Becoming More Western'
Support for mom-and-pop stores hurts globalization
Kimbap Nara — DECODED!
Nationalistic furies ignited anti-Americanism in 2002
65.5% of Koreans Feel U.S. Beef is Unsafe
Foreigners show off fluency in Korean
Moon Dae-Sung

Disclaimer: Please note the links above are generated automatically by our software and may not always be directly related to the news article.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Psy Admitted to Harvard

Korean rapper Psy was admitted to Harvard last week after being specially invited to attend the prestigious American Ivy League school. However, in a nod to the growing effectiveness of the Korean edutainment system, Psy will not be required to study under foreign professors but will instead move straight into teaching younger Harvard students the secret to achieving power and success.

Psy's course is already one of the most popular on campus, with over 1,000 students applying to attend his first lecture, forcing the university authorities to decide attendance using a system involving the casting of lots to reveal God's will. Then, in recognition of the fact that Jesus was Korean, and that Psy now has more followers than the Catholic Church, Psy was allowed to address students and faculty members in an ornate church dedicated to the memory of those who lost their lives in "World War I" fighting to secure the future of Korea's individualistic "I-generation" that would lead to Psy producing his massive hit.

During the sermon, Psy told his congregation about the promised land of South Korea, in which he said 'life is weird'.

The Vatican is believed to have lodged a protest at the use of the church, partly because they do not yet recognize Psy as a religious figure, but mostly – according to a spokesman who asked to remain anonymous – because "we wish we had his numbers". Followers of the Blues Brothers - earlier musicians also on a mission from God - denounced those attending as "heretics".

Psy is believed to have become one of the few native Koreans to enter Harvard without his family making a private donation beforehand.

Related Links
Psy to Speak at Harvard
Psy Cracks Jokes At Harvard University
Psy's inspirational Harvard speech: 'life is weird'
"Jesus Was Korean" Says Seoul Church
The Blues Brothers
The Casting of Lots in the Bible

Disclaimer: Please note the links above are generated automatically by our software and may not always be directly related to the news article.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Troubling Snapshot of Average Korean Teenager

A troubling snapshot has emerged of the average Korean teenager, and not just because of her skirt length and the angle at which the photo was taken. According to the findings of a survey released yesterday by Statistics Korea and the Ministry of Gender Equality and Women Must Get Married and Have a Family, two out of three teenagers barely get any exercise, half are glued to their smartphones two hours a day, and one third believe that the best job is the one that pays them the most money, despite decades of an education and social system which has encouraged young Koreans to view working for a large Korean corporation as a privilege they should pay for.

The findings under the 'Attitudes to Work' section of the survey raise serious concerns about Korea's future competitiveness. Korea already has the least productive workers in the OECD, and the idea that they want more money is bound to set alarm bells ringing in Korean corporations, who will then be forced to extend their working hours knowing that this will reduce productivity further.

Under 'Health', the survey shows that recent crackdowns on sex crimes now means that two out of every three teenage girls barely get any exercise, with 57 percent of them saying they haven't had to run away from a man in the street or their school during the last 3 days.

Obesity levels increased steadily from 11.2 percent in 2008 to 14.7 percent this year. While the lack of sex-related exercise is likely to accelerate this, the rise over the last few years has been blamed on changing dietary patterns – with Koreans falling under the influence of dubious foreign food. In fact, the figures appear to closely match the increase in obesity levels of Americans living in Korea; statistics show that their average weight has risen from 112kg in 2008 to 147kg this year, although no figures are available for American men.

Aside from turning into fat socialists, the survey reveals that Korean teenagers spend up to two hours a day glued to their smartphones, as it can take up to an hour in the hospital to separate fingers which have become fused to phones with overheating batteries which melt their casings. Because of the strain it is placing on the health system, the government is urging phone manufacturers to move away from plastic to conductive materials which will merely burn or shock their users.

Another alarming survey discovery was that 1 in 10 teenagers contemplated suicide over the past year – a drop from 4 out of 10 last year – suggesting that three 3 of 10 have already killed themselves and may be lying undiscovered somewhere. According to official figures, the main cause of death among teens last year was Korean culture, accounting for 13 percent. The teen suicide rate has almost doubled over the last 10 years.

Tackling the Korea's teen suicide problem has proven difficult but experts say quality youth programs are urgently needed. "Have you ever seen K-Pop Star?" said 56-year-old Professor Kim at Seoul International University, "I often want to kill myself after seeing it too."

Related Links
Troubling Snapshot of Average Korean Teenager
Korean workers hardworking but inefficient
Sexual Harassment by Female Sluts in Korea is Killing Men
Samsung cell phone battery explodes in man's pocket
Samsung’s design chief defends Galaxy S4′s plastic case
Jinju Suicide Festival Draws Fire
Suicide leading cause of youth deaths in Korea
K-pop Star

Disclaimer: Please note the links above are generated automatically by our software and may not always be directly related to the news article.