Does South Korean Beer Really Taste Worse than North Korean Beer?

Bad taste? Hite Exfeel

South Korean beer makers are furious over a report in the Economist magazine saying that their beers are so bad even North Korea's Taedonggang beer tastes better.

The bizarre criticism of these prominent and generous South Korean advertisers from a magazine for economists may seem strange, but it is apparently based on the so-called 'oligopoly' in the domestic Korean market enjoyed by Hite Beer and OB Brewery. The economists – trying to also portray themselves as beer experts – blamed the bad taste not just on the oligopoly, but also an insufficient volume of malt used in making the beer.

South Korean beer companies have denied the allegations, saying that "Most (South) Korean beers contain more than 70 percent malt." So there is no truth to the allegation made in The Korea Times that at a typical Hite factory tour guides only stress the pristine quality of the region's water and nothing else because barley malt doesn't even have to be used - with the firm preferring to use cheap starch alternatives like rice, corn or potato instead or as little as 10 percent actual malt.

The brewers also point out that Hoegaarden, the Belgian beer that actually tastes like beer, is produced in South Korea under a local license – proving that they can make something pleasant to drink if they want to. However, they say there is no purpose in producing domestic beer of this quality, as statistically over 90% of Korean beers are consumed after the drinker is too drunk to taste anything.

So while some beer drinkers in South Korea do complain about the taste of domestic beer, statistically they are the 10% who have entered a physiological state medical experts refer to as 'sober' - which is, doctors say, when the body's sense of taste and feel returns. Anyone experiencing this distressing condition is advised to drink a bottle of Hite Exfeel immediately, followed by a bottle of Hite Exfeel, continuing until their blood-alcohol levels have returned to normal.

The Economist magazine ignores the fact that South Korean beers are exported around the world to countries which have large ethnic Korean populations who despite inexplicably leaving their homeland, refuse to abandon their diet of kimchi and beer. Yet despite this we are supposed to believe that Cass Fresh only has a rating of 1 out of 100 on ratebeer.com, while Hite is slightly better at 2 out of 100, which are both easily beaten by Taedonggang Beer with 7 out of 100. Meanwhile Hoegaarden scores an improbable 93 out of 100.

As for the oligopoly, this arose due to regulations that only granted a license to produce beer to a company that had the capacity to get the entire country drunk in an evening – calculated at 2.77 million liters or more. This rule was seen as sensible when it was drafted because everyone would be upset if five beers into the evening there was suddenly nothing left to drink but the gas from the car – and then how would drinkers drive home?

The Economist report includes many pieces of misguided information, but the debate it has incited will hopefully lead to richer-tasting beer in South Korea – not that we are implying in stating this that there is anything wrong with South Korean beer as it is, because there isn't.

Related Links
Criticism of S.Korean beer
42 percent of males binge drinkers
S. Koreans amongst world's heaviest drinkers
Break oligarchy and allow 'beer freedom'
Taedonggang
Oriental Brewery
Hite
Bitter taste mouth with white tongue?
Cass Fresh - ratebeer.com
Hite Beer - ratebeer.com
Taedonggang Beer - ratebeer.com
Hoegaarden - ratebeer.com


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Hyundai-Kia Gas Mileage Misunderstanding in America

A legal campaign gathering momentum in the United States over the alleged exaggeration of the MPG (Miles Per Gallon) ratings of Hyundai and Kia cars has exposed a shocking ignorance among Americans of Korean culture despite Psy's recent 'Gangnam Style' educational video.

According to reports, Hyundai-Kia has found itself in trouble for overstating the gas mileage for its North American models by as little as 3 percent, and typically the anti-corporate and therefore anti-Korean newspaper 'the hankyoreh' has called for Hyundai-Kia cars in this country to be audited too, possibly also demonstrating its pro-Scientology leanings.

But it is clear to any right-minded individual that there is no need to audit the cars because the distances estimated for fuel economy are actually correct in Korea, but for natural reasons they do differ slightly in a far-away place such as America; Einstein's theory of relativity dictates that measurements are relative to the velocities of observers. The observation of different miles per gallon being achieved is caused by the expansion of the universe from its point of origin, which is in Korea. Expansion is accelerating the further away from Korea one gets due to the phenomenon known as 'dark energy', a mysterious force that will eventually rip the very fabric of the universe outside Korea apart, probably starting with Africa.

What this stretching of spacetime means in practice is that a Korean car rated at achieving 40mpg in Korea will actually only attain around 39.5mpg in a place far away from Korea such as America. But crucially, it would still be obtaining 40mpg if the car were closer to the center of the universe in Korea. However, the stretching of spacetime also means it is taking Americans longer to realize this fact, as it takes impulses transmitted by the neurons in their big heads longer to reach their destinations.

The slight differences in fuel economy also highlight the issue of the so-called 'mock driving conditions' under which the estimates are drawn up. In America, cars typically slow down when gridlocked which leads to lower fuel efficiency. But on Korean roads drivers will typically take to the sidewalks when encountering such conditions, or find some other non-conventional means of maintaining their speed.

The solution is clearly for American drivers to adopt the superior driving approach of Koreans, rather than trying to find excuses to complain about superior Korean products they don't understand.

Related Links
[Editorial] Audit Hyundai-Kia cars in Korea, too
Hyundai And Kia's 'MPG Gate' Fallout
Fuel economy in automobiles
Theory of relativity
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Korean Government to Make Raping Your Wife Illegal

In another attack on the family, a government increasingly dismissive of tradition is seeking to prohibit unwanted sex between married couples, or so-called 'rape'. Typically, the proposal comes from the liberal Ministry of 'Gender Equality' and Family, as part of a policy program for 2013-2017, which means raping your wife may be made illegal within five years.

'Marital rape' is non-consensual sex in which the perpetrator is the victim's spouse, and while most people are still unfamiliar with the concept, the topic was first raised in Korea as long ago as the middle of the 2000s.

Prior to this, The Supreme Court's panel of male judges ruled in 1970 that spousal rape cannot be constituted as abuse, and that even physical violence and threats by a husband against his wife were not admissible in a court, partly because they were normal so arresting everyone guilty of it would have left the country undefended, and partly because of the judges' fear their wives would immediately file charges against them.

However, shockingly in 2009 a court in the marital-rape capital of Korea, Busan, recognized the act as illegal, making it almost inevitable that the Supreme Court in the more developed city of Seoul would have to follow suit, although it hasn't been without some resistance. "There has been opposition to the proposal from lawyers who rape their wives, but there is a need for serious discussion on the issue", according to a ministry source – 54-year-old Kim, a woman.

"Even among married couples, people have a right to choose", the ministry official added, clearly failing to understand the entire basis of marriage.

Related Links
You cannot rape your wife
'Ladygate' incidents point to misogyny on the Korean Internet

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